Things Cousins Can Do Together Online

Cousins who live apart have a particular problem. There are usually several of them, they're all different ages, and a group video call with a 4-year-old, a 7-year-old and a 10-year-old tends to turn into everyone shouting at once while the little one cries off-screen.

The good news is that cousins already have a head start: they're family, they see each other at holidays, and the big ones often adore the little ones. They just need the call to be set up for a group.

Make group calls work

Keep the group small. Two or three kids per call works much better than all eight cousins at once. Rotate pairs, or save the big group call for birthdays.

Give every kid a role. A big cousin runs the game, a middle cousin keeps score, a little cousin picks the next round. Roles keep everyone involved and cut down on talking over each other.

Do one thing together. A group call with no activity is chaos. With one shared thing to do, it mostly runs itself.

Keep it short. Twenty minutes is a long time for a group of young kids.

Activities that work across ages

Draw on the same page

Drawing together works for almost any age, because a 4-year-old scribbling a sun and a 10-year-old drawing a detailed dragon can share the same page without anyone getting bored. On a normal call, though, it means everyone holding paper up to the camera.

PaintPal puts the cousins on one page instead. One parent can start a room for the cousins, send the link to the family chat, and everyone who joins draws on the same canvas while they see each other on video. Try one big scene where each cousin adds something (the 10-year-old draws a castle, the 7-year-old adds a dragon, the 4-year-old adds "the sun," several times). Here's how to draw online together if you want the details.

Big cousin runs the game

Older kids love being in charge, so let a 9- or 10-year-old host Simon Says, a scavenger hunt or animal charades for the little ones. The little ones adore it, and the big one gets to be the boss. There are more games that work on FaceTime to pick from.

Same challenge, every house

Everyone gets the same challenge and ten minutes: build the tallest Lego tower, make a play-dough animal, draw your dream treehouse. Then show-and-tell. Make it a show rather than a contest (or have a grandparent judge, and give everyone a prize).

Dance party

One parent shares a playlist and everyone dances on camera. It's loud and silly and works for literally every age, including the grown-ups.

A cousin club

What really keeps cousins close is a routine. Pick a monthly slot, call it the cousin club, and give each month a theme: pajama day, show your pet, everyone wears a hat. One kid hosts each month and picks the activity. Kids look forward to a thing with a name.

Between calls, a cousin newsletter is a lovely low-effort extra. One parent collects a drawing, a photo and a sentence from each kid and sends it around in the family chat or by mail.

For older cousins

From about 8 up, cousins can play together in a private Minecraft world (a Realm only invited family can join) or a game of online chess. Set it up with the other parents so everyone knows who's in it, and keep the younger ones in the drawing and games.

Plan the next time you're together

Online time works best when it builds toward something. If a family reunion or holiday is coming up, use the calls to plan it: what the cousins will do, who's sharing a room, which game they'll play first. The countdown makes the calls feel like part of the same friendship.

For more ideas, there are FaceTime activities for two kids at a time, and tips for keeping up with friends who live far away that work for cousins too.

If your cousins love to draw, try PaintPal with the cousins. I'd love to hear what they make together.